My Brain is Being a Jerk!

My brain is being a jerk! The title of this blog post is an actual quote from a college-aged client who was tired of his brain working against him, and you might be able to relate. In fact, you might be one of the many students who experience stress daily, like an annoying visitor you wish you could kick out of your brain.

From looming deadlines to challenging exams, the pressures of your academic life can sometimes feel overwhelming. However, amidst the chaos, there are effective cognitive behavioral strategies that you can harness to conquer stress and reclaim a sense of balance and control.


My Brain is Being A Jerk: Techniques To Empower You To Manage Stress Effectively

Here are some specific techniques that can empower you to manage stress effectively:

my brain is being a jerk!The first step in managing stress is to pinpoint its sources. Start by reflecting on situations, thoughts, or behaviors that tend to provoke feelings of stress for you.

Whether it’s procrastination, perfectionism, or social pressures, understanding the root causes of stress is essential for developing targeted coping strategies.

Cognitive restructuring is a powerful tool in your arsenal of stress management. You can choose to challenge negative and irrational thoughts that fuel your stress.

By questioning the validity of these thoughts and replacing them with more realistic and balanced perspectives, you can defuse the power of stress-inducing beliefs.

Related article: Challenges for leaders in 2024 and the power of cognitive behavioral coaching

One simple strategy is called 180-thinking. When your brain tells you something like “You’ll never get the work done and you’ll fail”, respond with a 180-degree option – “I will get the work done and I’ll be fine.” Instead of letting your brain fixate on the one negative outcome, you allow your brain to realize that an equally likely outcome is the opposite.

how to handle negative thoughtsDeep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and guided imagery are all effective relaxation techniques that can help you alleviate student stress in the moment.

You can incorporate these practices into your daily routines, whether it’s taking a few minutes to breathe deeply before an exam or dedicating time to mindfulness meditation each day. A great strategy to use is walking meditation.

Go for a short walk and concentrate on your sensory experiences as you walk – the feel of your feet in your shoes, the smells in the air around you, the colors you see. If you can take a walk outside, do it! Lots of research supports the healing benefits of being out in nature.

The sheer magnitude of academic tasks can often contribute to feelings of overwhelm. Take time to break down larger tasks into smaller, more manageable steps.

By tackling one step at a time, instead of the whole project all at once, you can prevent feelings of paralysis and maintain a sense of progress, even in the face of daunting assignments.

Related article: Lessons from a coach

You have been trained to accept words that create stress: should, need to, have to, must. When you use these words, they create spikes of adrenaline and cortisol – your stress hormones – in your brain.

Instead, replace these words with will, want, or get to. For example, instead of “I need to do my homework”, you can change it to “I will do my homework because I want a good grade”.

As another example, instead of “I have to go meet with my teacher about my grade”, you can change it to “I want to go meet with my teacher so I can get help to do better in class.” Will, want, and get are power words that create functional control in your brain.

how to prioritize what's matter the mostIn the midst of stress, you may be your own harshest critic. Start now to practice self-compassion by treating yourself with kindness and understanding, especially in moments of difficulty or failure.

Remember that mistakes are a natural part of the learning process, and you deserve gentleness and forgiveness, just like anyone else. Essentially, talk to yourself as you would to your best friend. And keep in mind a powerful quote from Nelson Mandela: “I never fail. I either win or I learn.”

Connection is a powerful antidote to stress. Reach out to friends, family members, or mental health professionals for support when you’re feeling overwhelmed.

Whether it’s talking through your worries or simply spending time with loved ones, social support can provide comfort and perspective in times of stress.

Of course, it is essential to keep your physical health strong to help combat the consequences of stress. Regular exercise, nutritious eating, adequate sleep, and leisure activities are all crucial components of stress management.

Prioritize your self-care and make time for activities that nourish your body and mind. And remember: alcohol and substance use are only distractions that make your stress and anxiety worse in the long run.

Related article: Being Ambitious and Goal-Oriented Does Not Make You Selfish

confidence in handling stressIt’s normal for our brains to have a negativity bias, which means we often end up thinking negatively about situations before considering alternatives. This tendency can feel like a mental pressure, especially during a busy week filled with academic demands.

But remember, what truly matters is not blaming yourself for what already happened, but practicing strategies that help you decide to see the other side of the story. When you shift your focus, you begin to build confidence in your ability to face challenges, rather than letting fear hold you back.

By acknowledging your emotions instead of ignoring them, you create space for more balanced thinking that makes you feel good about your progress.

One powerful way to deal with stress is by paying attention to what’s happening right now. Stress often builds when we focus on what might happen in the future or dwell on what’s at fault in the past.

how to focus yung CBTBy practicing mindfulness, you can listen to your thoughts without judgment and use your resources to stay grounded. Taking time to rest, especially after a demanding job or study session, can be incredibly helpful.

It’s not a sign of weakness but rather a way to prevent trouble from growing. If you ever feel shame or pressure, it’s okay to admit those feelings — it’s a normal part of being human.

When you decide to stay aware of your thoughts, you’ll notice a desire for calm and balance. This practice can feel a little weird in the beginning, but once you get struck by its benefits, you’ll find it can also be fun and deeply rewarding.

At this point, what really matters is choosing to take small steps toward a more positive mindset. You might wonder how simple actions can change your outlook, but once you’ve decided to begin, you’ll be surprised by the results. Each time you act on these strategies, you strengthen your ability to stay present and resilient.

Related article: Therapy vs. Coaching: What is the right approach for you?

By incorporating these cognitive behavioral strategies into your daily life, you can develop resilience in the face of stress and cultivate a sense of well-being that extends far beyond the classroom.

As you navigate the challenges of academic life, empower yourself to harness the power of your brain and emerge stronger, more confident, and more capable than ever before. Remember, even when you feel like my brain is being a jerk!, you have the tools to take back control.

Dr. Robin Buckley has her PhD in Clinical Psychology from Hofstra University and is also a certified coach. She owns Insights Group Psychological & Coaching Services in New Hampshire, a practice offering coaching (executive, elite athletes, couples), neuropsychological evaluation, and cognitive behavioral therapy. Dr. Robin works specifically with executives and high-powered couples to achieve their goals efficiently and successfully through the use of a business framework. To find out more about Dr. Robin, please go to drrobinbuckley.com, or to learn more about her practice, https://igsouth.com/.